There are several moments in life when people will say to you, “this is a time when you find out who your friends are.”
Recently, I had one of those moments. Many people have said that very phrase to me over the last few weeks. Here’s what I’ve learned and I must admit, I too, was a little surprised.
I did find out who my friends are… and I have WAY more than I thought I did.
It’s been an incredible experience. My friends that I knew were my solid friends have stepped up to the plate in more ways than one. Some people, that I thought were just acquaintances have become even BETTER friends than before, and current acquaintances have shown me constant and consistent support. It’s been incredible.
I work hard at keeping up relationships. I am a communicator. I am rare, I like to talk on the phone.
However, I don’t like to talk on the phone with people who aren’t “phone people” – if that makes sense. It’s uncomfortable because you can tell they want to get off and move on. I like to text too, but if we’re close, I’ll talk to you on the phone instead. It’s my preference.
I keep my distance when it comes to getting close to people. I go with my gut. If I can tell you aren’t in it for the right reasons, I’ll move away. I’m pretty private. However, if my gut says you’re genuine, I open up quickly. It’s worked well for me. Sometimes people around me talk a lot about something or someone, and I sit quiet. They look at me almost like they can’t believe I’m NOT chiming in. I don’t “chime” unless it’s warranted. I will say, I think I’m a pretty decent friend. I’m protective too.
I think this is why, in this moment, I have found out I have more friends than I thought. Being decent and respectful pays off in the end. I definitely have “my people.” In some cases, I even have my person. I gravitate to certain places when I need to feel a certain way. If I’m sad, I know whose door I will be knocking on. If I want to talk, I know who I’m meeting for lunch. If I need advice, I know who to call. This is one of the many great things about having friends that fulfill your life in different ways. I sometimes feel sad when I can’t get what I need out of someone. Then, I realize that person isn’t here for that kind of advice or reason… but “this” person is, and that’s okay.
Don’t we all serve a purpose? Do you have friends that you gravitate to for certain reasons?
I’ll give you some examples.
When I want to talk about something serious, am in need of advice, and maybe even want to cry… I call or see person A, I know person A cares deeply for me. I also know, that once that conversation is complete, it will end in laughter and sarcasm. It’s great.
If I need to tell someone something really private or personal, I call or meet up with person B. This person knows it all. Person B cares, and actually reacts with emotion, as if they are suddenly in my position whether it’s good or bad. In the end, I always feel better once discussing things with person B.
When I need to vent or just discuss life and certain situations, I call person C. This person is over the top. Person C gets exactly how I’m feeling and makes me feel like I’m not dumb for feeling this way.
If I’m in a bad mood and I want to smile or laugh, I text person D. Person D is just plain funny. Sarcastic, happy, and cuts to the chase. For a good laugh, always text person D.
If I need someone to be on my side no matter what, I call person E. Even if person E doesn’t really agree with me, they find a way to understand. End of story.
The above are just some examples… but I think you see my point, and most of you… can probably relate.
This moment in my life feels different, and there are days when the unknown is scary, but it’s also very exciting. Knowing who my friends are has helped me so much.
I had the opposite experience when my marriage ended. I lost some friends. I explain more about that here in one of my past blogs.
Each day we learn new things. Each experience leads us to discover people’s strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect. I accept so much more than I ever did because I know, life’s just not that easy.
I have so many faults. So do my friends. But I make sense of them.
I hope I don’t have another, “you’ll find out who your friends are,” moment anytime soon. For now, though, it’s all good.