Be Social, But Respect Privacy.

I have started three blogs, and erased each one.

Today, I am having trouble writing. The first was going to be about honesty, the second was going to be about missing key moments in a friend’s life when you lose touch, and the third was going to be about taking what you learn from failed past relationships into a new one and changing the way you used to be for the better (but wondering if that means you are not yourself.)

I erased them all because each one includes a story, or background. It risks the privacy of people.

I have issues with privacy. I think everyone deserves to have it. I love social media and the internet, but I have also seen many people hurt by it. Over and over again. I know… public figures and celebrities must expect to have many parts of their life exposed. It comes with the territory. But there are limits. It becomes uncomfortable and at some point, a person can feel violated. Sometimes there’s just no reason for it.

Social Media

Twitter is the worst, because you can’t erase what someone else writes. It causes panic for some.

Maybe you don’t want people to know you are dating so and so yet, because you aren’t sure of the relationship and it’s just getting started. Maybe you don’t want the world to know you are out sick from work. Maybe you don’t want everyone to know you were at restaurant “A” having a business lunch with someone that could be a potential partner or client.  Should your Realtor tweet you and say they are finding some good stuff for you? Maybe you don’t want everyone to know you are looking to buy a home or move.

There are so many risks.

It’s come to a point where you need to say something up front. It’s an odd conversation to have, because the person may be like, “Huh? I would never do that!” Then it’s uncomfortable from there on out.

I’m not a celebrity, but I could be considered a public figure. The only thing that bothers me, is when people tweet that they see me at a place (not including an event, I expect when I am at a public event that there will be tweeting, that’s how it works.)

It’s when they see me eating lunch or at Wal-Mart. I check my phone. There’s a tweet. “In Wal-Mart shopping next to @daynaroselli!”

I feel weird.  You are here, I am here… you know what I look like, I don’t know what you look like. Sooooo, are you behind me right now? Are you across the aisle? Are you looking at me over the clothes rack? I suddenly feel uncomfortable!!

Just say hello instead of tweet me. Please. Feel free to tweet me after.

I know many public figures and celebrities that are told they MUST use twitter. Everyone is on it. They must promote themselves  and make that connection with their audience or fans. For the most part that’s true. However, it is an adjustment for those that like to keep their private life PRIVATE. Some people put a lot more out there than others. I think that’s okay. It describes your personality. It’s an important tool, but it can also be managed and used the right way.

My tips: Post pictures, just don’t say where you are (or say it afterward.) If someone tweets you something personal, respond with a funny answer. There are ways to avoid the pressure. Don’t take it so serious. Use it how you want to use it. You are in control of what comes from your account.

It has certainly been beneficial for me. I have been able to brand myself. Create my own me. It gives me a space to spread my content, ideas, thoughts, and news that I cover.

Remember though, respect people’s privacy. Keep that in mind. If you wouldn’t want it out there, maybe that person doesn’t either. We control what we write and how we respond, but we can’t control what others write.

Something to keep in mind. That’s all.

P.S. I may still write about those first three topics I mentioned, at a later date. Once I figure out how to better position the stories.

 

 

10 thoughts on “Be Social, But Respect Privacy.

  1. I like your gentle. layered thoughtful approach to life; at least that’s how it hits me with your blogs. I think it’s hard to write about yourself, its a fine line like “dancing on a razor blade”. I hope you push through on the other 3 topics, if you don’t feel a little bit of emotion and risk you probably aren’t doing your best work. We the audience would lose out not having the chance to view life through your glasses. Dave Presher

  2. Just saw this on Facebook and wanted to tell you that this is a great topic to discuss. We always encourage people to strike a balance between over-disclosure and under-disclosure. Over-disclosure certainly opens oneself up for the privacy issues you described while under-disclosure leaves people with an impression of coldness, distance and not human. Business leaders need to leverage the power of social media to humanize with their team members and develop greater connectivitly while not allowing a too intimate look into their lives. Many times the easiest answer is not to participate in social forums at all.

    It is also very interesting that you singled out Twitter because it certainly remains the wild west of social media. With Facebook and LinkedIn there are generally accepted standards for decorum and you have some editing ability on the comments made by others. With Twitter, all bets are off and anyone who can look you up can make some commentary and the best you can hope for is to craft a clever rebuttal.

    Great comment piece and I would look forward to seeing other people’s perspective on this.

    1. I single out twitter because you can erase people’s comments (on your page on Facebook) – and you can control tagging (by changing the privacy settings) — you can’t do that on twitter.

  3. Good topic. What’s the new social media etiquette now? Don’t press send? People need to really think about what they write or do before they press the “send” button. I guess that’s why I don’t have a Twitter account. I don’t feel the need to broadcast every single event in my life, nor are people even that interested. You bring up a good point.

  4. Well we do know that it all comes with a price and we have all been witness to celebs cracking under pressure and finally just losing it even about their sexual preference. It all comes down to respect! As a stage entertainer, news, media or huge celeb. Noone deserves for people to jump out of the bushes with cameras in your face or tweet out pictures of us shopping at walmart. Darn social media makes everything so easy for this horrible invasion of privacy. Facebook changes their settings so often i have to create a fake account just to log in and see who can see what. I need and assistant! On a lighter note… darn it to hell how come i don’t bump into you at starbucks or walmart? I want a new default fb pic lol xox Ríon

  5. First of all, you are correct. You are consider by social media to be a public figure. In my eyes, you will always be a celebrity. It really must be difficult for you to have a good time and always be on the lookout for someone who is going to post or tweet your whereabouts.I know you and others tweet their whereabouts as they are leaving that location. So if someone rushed to get a glimpse, you are already gone. I have stuck my foot in my mouth a couple of time on facebook so that now I carefully think out what I am about to say and the repercussions of such statement, before hitting the submit button. So far, on Twitter, I have been lucky. Some people of Twitter can be mean and visicious, and not very thoughtful. Sometimes, especially after a retweet, I think “do I want all of my followers to see that?”. So I try to think things out before sending. Twitter moves too fast and sometimes it’s too late. I have to constantly tell myself to slow down and read and think about what I am sending.

    One thing for sure, if I see you in public, I will definitely try to approach and say “Hi”. I may tweet about seeing you out and about later, when I get home, but I do have respect for you and your privacy.

  6. Such a great blog, Dayna. I’ve “never met a stranger”, so when I see a celebrity [yes, you are one :-)], I always approach them, introduce myself and say “hi.” The only time I wouldn’t approach is if the celeb is having dinner. I think that is intrusive. Unfortunately, many people have not learned there are boundaries, and, whether it be audio or video, they overstep those lines quite frequently. How else would TMZ exist?

  7. For me, if I ever see you in public, even though we have never met and you know I’m a huge fan; I would be very proud to interrupt you for a brief moment and say “hi” so you could put a face beside one of the names that is always in your corner! Who doesn’t want to rub elbows with celebrities? You’re our “guiding light”, Dayna! LOL

  8. Aw, Dayna, good stuff. Your public learns a lot about social media from you, great to teach us some etiquette, too. I do flip when you quip a reply to me, and I would absolutely approach you if I ever saw you in person. You’re my favorite!

  9. Nicely said. And if I ever see you out in public I will introduce myself, not Tweet it on Twitter. As a public figure we all want to meet you. You’re kind, beautiful & have a big heart. Who doesn’t want to meet that person? So few are around anymore. Forgive us if we intrude or overstep common boundaries. We are excited. Most are not intentionally overstepping bounds, although I’m sure some don’t think the whole process through before acting. It’s purely accidental and if we were in your spot we may not act as kindly as you do. (A big lesson to learn there.). Thank you for putting up with the public. Sometimes we aren’t “all that” lolol.

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