Tag Archives: Friendship

Let’s Hear It For The Home Team!

The Home Team! Isn’t it funny how as we get older, the home team gets smaller but more valuable? You live, you learn. But, oh do you value your Home Team.

Back in the day when Grey’s Anatomy was really good, I remember Cristina and Meredith always called each other their “person.” I kept thinking who is my person? It was clear.

Home Team

I smile at this passage because there’s nothing I dislike more than when good friends are at my place and they ask for everything. Can I have this? Are you sure? Can I grab a glass of this? Is that okay? YES!!! What’s mine is yours. I truly do love when people help themselves.

I must say, working in the middle of the night can be a little worrisome because not everybody is up when you need them. But, the Home Team doesn’t mind if you call or text. Not if it’s important. Not if you need them.

As we grow, the circles get smaller, but in many ways it’s actually kind of nice. You know where you stand with people. You know who you can count on. There are sometimes a few little surprises along the way. Someone who you thought would be there for a long time, is no longer there, who you thought you would or should feel comfortable counting on, you can’t… but that only helps build the team. There are certain people I’m really close with, and even the biggest or rarest fight wouldn’t keep me from calling them if I needed help. I can say with confidence they would be there. Those are the people you want on your team.

I would say right now many of my friends are going through transition, and as difficult as it can be sometimes, it’s also exciting. You need people to look at the positive side of what’s viewed as a downside to that person. There can be days that set you back or days that someone is feeling blue, but the Home Team gets you through. They celebrate the small things. The big things. The baby steps. The giant steps. You feel joy bringing them good news. Your day is better because their day is better. You have to have people that have your back. If someone says something negative about someone you love, your blood should boil. You should get defensive and you should protect them. Sometimes we get really close to our friends and we are bound to have “moments,” but if it’s not communicated and if it goes silent for too long, they were never part of the team to begin with.

One thing is for sure, and I’ve said it a million times. The people I talk to on the phone are on my Home Team. The “texting only” club isn’t for me. Hearing a voice… getting a phone call and making a phone call means you are invested. You want to hear how that person is feeling and how they are doing. It doesn’t have to happen all the time. But it has to happen consistently. If you don’t want to talk, then you probably just want the scoop now and then. That bores me. That annoys me. You’ll never be on my Home Team.

Think about your Home Team. Value them! We all need one.

Good days, and bad days. Every day!

“You’ll Find Out Who Your Friends Are.”

There are several moments in life when people will say to you, “this is a time when you find out who your friends are.”

Recently, I had one of those moments. Many people have said that very phrase to me over the last few weeks. Here’s what I’ve learned and I must admit, I too, was a little surprised.

I did find out who my friends are… and I have WAY more than I thought I did.

It’s been an incredible experience. My friends that I knew were my solid friends have stepped up to the plate in more ways than one. Some people, that I thought were just acquaintances have become even BETTER friends than before, and current acquaintances have shown me constant and consistent support. It’s been incredible.

I work hard at keeping up relationships. I am a communicator. I am rare, I like to talk on the phone.

However, I don’t like to talk on the phone with people who aren’t “phone people” – if that makes sense. It’s uncomfortable because you can tell they want to get off and move on. I like to text too, but if we’re close, I’ll talk to you on the phone instead. It’s my preference.

I keep my distance when it comes to getting close to people. I go with my gut. If I can tell you aren’t in it for the right reasons, I’ll move away. I’m pretty private. However, if my gut says you’re genuine, I open up quickly. It’s worked well for me. Sometimes people around me talk a lot about something or someone, and I sit quiet. They look at me almost like they can’t believe I’m NOT chiming in. I don’t “chime” unless it’s warranted. I will say, I think I’m a pretty decent friend. I’m protective too.

I think this is why, in this moment, I have found out I have more friends than I thought. Being decent and respectful pays off in the end. I definitely have “my people.” In some cases, I even have my person. I gravitate to certain places when I need to feel a certain way. If I’m sad, I know whose door I will be knocking on. If I want to talk, I know who I’m meeting for lunch. If I need advice, I know who to call. This is one of the many great things about having friends that fulfill your life in different ways. I  sometimes feel sad when I can’t get what I need out of someone. Then, I realize that person isn’t here for that kind of advice or reason… but “this” person is, and that’s okay.

Don’t we all serve a purpose? Do you have friends that you gravitate to for certain reasons?

I’ll give you some examples.

When I want to talk about something serious, am in need of advice, and maybe even want to cry… I call or see person A, I know person A cares deeply for me. I also know, that once that conversation is complete, it will end in laughter and sarcasm. It’s great.

If I need to tell someone something really private or personal, I call or meet up with person B. This person knows it all. Person B cares, and actually reacts with emotion, as if they are suddenly in my position whether it’s good or bad. In the end, I always feel better once discussing things with person B.

When I need to vent or just discuss life and certain situations, I call person C. This person is over the top. Person C gets exactly how I’m feeling and makes me feel like I’m not dumb for feeling this way.

If I’m in a bad mood and I want to smile or laugh, I text person D. Person D is just plain funny. Sarcastic, happy, and cuts to the chase. For a good laugh, always text person D.

If I need someone to be on my side no matter what, I call person E. Even if person E doesn’t really agree with me, they find a way to understand. End of story.

The above are just some examples… but I think you see my point, and most of you… can probably relate.

This moment in my life feels different, and there are days when the unknown is scary, but it’s also very exciting. Knowing who my friends are has helped me so much.

I had the opposite experience when my marriage ended. I lost some friends. I explain more about that here in one of my past blogs. 

Each day we learn new things. Each experience leads us to discover people’s strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect. I accept so much more than I ever did because I know, life’s just not that easy.

I have so many faults. So do my friends. But I make sense of them.

I hope I don’t have another, “you’ll find out who your friends are,” moment anytime soon. For now, though, it’s all good.